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Essays · The first five months

The second fear period nobody warns you about

Your dog will become afraid of something ordinary between six and fourteen months. There was no bad thing. Here is what not to do.

About five minutes

Your dog is going to become afraid of something they were completely fine with. Probably between six and fourteen months. Probably something stupid, like a bin, or a man in a hat, or the stairs they have used every day of their life.

It will seem to come out of nowhere and you will go looking for the bad thing that must have happened. Usually there was no bad thing.

What this actually is

Dogs go through a period in adolescence where the world gets re-evaluated. Things that were filed as safe get opened up and checked again. It is developmental rather than experiential, which is why it arrives without a cause you can find.

It tends to be short. A few weeks, sometimes less. And it is specific rather than general, so a dog who is suddenly suspicious of the recycling bin is usually still fine about everything else.

The event is normal and passes on its own. What you do during it is what decides whether it leaves a mark.

The two ways people make it permanent

Making them face it. Walking a worried dog up to the thing, holding them there, letting the thing prove itself harmless. It is intuitive and it is the single most reliable way to turn a passing wobble into a lasting fear. A dog who cannot leave learns that being near that thing means being trapped, and now there are two problems.

Making a fuss. The opposite error. Rushing in, high voice, lots of reassurance, possibly picking them up. The dog was mildly uncertain and has now been told by the person they trust most that something is genuinely wrong.

Both come from caring. Both make it worse.

What to do instead

Be boring and let them look.

Stop at a distance where your dog can notice the thing and still eat, still respond to you, still move. That distance is the only variable that matters and it is further away than you think.

Then just exist there. Do not talk about it. Do not point at it. Feed occasionally for nothing in particular. Let your dog watch the bin be a bin, and leave before they are done rather than after.

Do that four or five times over a couple of weeks and it usually resolves itself, because what you have demonstrated is that the thing is not an event and nobody is making them deal with it.

The thing worth writing down

If your dog is afraid of something and you can get them to eat near it, you are far enough away. If they will not eat, you are too close and nothing useful is happening.

That one test replaces a great deal of theory and you can run it anywhere.

When it is not this

Worth saying plainly. If the fear is general rather than specific, if it does not shift at all over a few weeks, if it involves people your dog knows, or if there is any growling or snapping, that is a different thing and it is worth getting eyes on early rather than waiting it out.

Also get them checked physically. Sudden avoidance of stairs, of jumping, of being touched in one place, is often pain wearing a fear costume, and it gets trained instead of treated more often than anyone would like.

If you would rather just ask someone

Fifteen minutes on the phone.

Tell us the age, what is happening, and what you have already tried. You will get a straight answer about what we would do, whether or not that involves us.

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